food for thought.
The Classic Troll
Arj Barker: Gotta Get Stuff to Get Online
You don't just get a computer to get online. You gotta get other stuff. You better get a modem, or you're not getting on anything. You gotta get a monitor, that's what I found out. You gotta get a mouse. You gotta get a mouse pad. You gotta get a sperm guard for your keyboard.
what b longs 2 m give it
Arj Barker: Google's Bad Attitude
Google is ridiculous. Everyone uses Google, and that's why Google has such an attitude. Because it's so popular, it's conceited. I mean, it has a serious attitude. Have you tried misspelling something lately? See the tone that it takes? 'Um, did you mean...?'
Arj Barker: Cryptic Car
I just got a car, and I gotta say, this car is very cryptic. The very first day I drove it, a light came on out of nowhere: 'Check engine.' Could they be any more vague? What if a light came on and said, 'Problem'?
That's likely an illegal move
Anthony Jeselnik: Christmas Gifts
This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance, 'Baby, all I want from you this year is an Xbox. That's it. Beginning and end of list: Xbox.' You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine -- because I got her an Xbox.
Anthony Jeselnik: Angry Girlfriend
She got really mad a month ago, because she had e-mailed me a naked picture of herself -- which is a nice thing to do -- but then I messed up, and I accidentally forwarded that e-mail to both of my parents. Now, my girlfriend is furious, mortified, but I don?t even care, 'cause now I have to call up my mother and say 'Mom, I am so sorry -- that picture was just for dad.'